Ok, I know what you are thinking. What does this have to do with missions or preschool? Maybe you're thinking who is this ghost writing for Sheril? Or perhaps you are thinking this is some confessional or that I've finally gone off the deep end! Ok, so I don't actually know what you are thinking but I'm sure you were shocked enough to read the story?? Perhaps I have gone a bit loopy but not over this so please keep reading! I think you will understand.
I recently read a blog by Matt Walsh. Matt is a blogger, talk radio host, and father of twins. He writes some pretty amazing stuff. The article I read was titled I will not teach my kids about safe sex because there is no such thing. At first, like you probably, I thought WHAT????? How can you say that??? But I remembered that before I get all defensive from simply the title, I should actually read what he has to say & then form my opinion.
You know, the whole "don't judge the book by it's cover" thing!
So as I read along, I found myself hardily agreeing with pretty much everything that he said! Here is just a small portion so you can understand:
I recently read a blog by Matt Walsh. Matt is a blogger, talk radio host, and father of twins. He writes some pretty amazing stuff. The article I read was titled I will not teach my kids about safe sex because there is no such thing. At first, like you probably, I thought WHAT????? How can you say that??? But I remembered that before I get all defensive from simply the title, I should actually read what he has to say & then form my opinion.
You know, the whole "don't judge the book by it's cover" thing!
So as I read along, I found myself hardily agreeing with pretty much everything that he said! Here is just a small portion so you can understand:
In this nation, we are concerned about the integrity of our produce and our peanut butter, so we only buy them if they have words like ‘organic’ and ‘raw’ on the packaging. But, when it comes to human sexuality, we’ll sip whatever chemicals we need in order to stave off the natural emotional and physical consequences of our behavior. Imagine the college students who have to chug 6 rum cocktails and 8 Natty Lights between them before they can anonymously copulate in someone’s dorm room. But they require more than booze; they also need pills and condoms and explanations the morning after about how this was all just for fun and it didn’t mean anything.
Why do we say that these people enjoy sex?
This article got me thinking. Many of you know that I have worked with teenagers and youth for YEARS (not saying how long cause that would remind me how old I actually am and I much prefer to stay blissfully amnesiac about things like age). This is a pretty common topic to discuss with youth. We split up into small groups, boys on one side/girls on the other, and talk about sex and how God intended it. I remember sweet Winnie Carey, who at the time was probably in her 60s, give us a sex talk in youth group. WOW!! I never looked at her or Pastor Carey the same again! (PS, I LOVE the Carey family).
This is good and healthy. I loved the way we talked about sex in our youth group. It was good and healthy.
Others haven't been so lucky. I recall one year during a break from work my assistant teacher at preschool & I were discussing some issues she was having in her marriage (the kids were at music, not in the classroom, FYI). She was married, had been for 10+ years, had 4 beautiful kids. She told me that sex with her husband was hard and she felt dirty afterwards!
As she poured her life out to me sitting at the short table cutting out starfish, I understood. She said that for her, growing up in a Christian home, sex was always talked about as a really bad thing, very evil, not godly!! This was drilled into her night & day until she associated SEX with EVIL. Then, on her wedding night, right before her & her recently obtained husband left for their honeymoon, her mom and a few ladies from the church let her in on the "secret". Sex was now wonderful, pleasurable, good, holy, something to be enjoyed, etc.
Imagine the confusion. "So, let me get this right, this morning sex was BAD but now sex is AMAZING????" This idea was so hard for her to understand. She felt bad and guilty and ashamed every time she had sex with her husband. This thing that God had created as wonderful to be shared between husband and wife was the very thing causing so much strife in her marriage!
Being a single woman I didn't (and still don't) fully understand the impact but I wept with her and prayed with her and just listened as she tried to dig through all the hurt & pain this misconception had caused.
I think about all the other people who have the same upbringing and same struggles today. Our society has twisted and manipulated sex so much that we have a very poor distorted view of it, regardless of our stance on it. We need to be real & honest when talking about sex. We shouldn't give our kids/teens/youth/singles a cockeyed understanding of it either.
This is good and healthy. I loved the way we talked about sex in our youth group. It was good and healthy.
Others haven't been so lucky. I recall one year during a break from work my assistant teacher at preschool & I were discussing some issues she was having in her marriage (the kids were at music, not in the classroom, FYI). She was married, had been for 10+ years, had 4 beautiful kids. She told me that sex with her husband was hard and she felt dirty afterwards!
As she poured her life out to me sitting at the short table cutting out starfish, I understood. She said that for her, growing up in a Christian home, sex was always talked about as a really bad thing, very evil, not godly!! This was drilled into her night & day until she associated SEX with EVIL. Then, on her wedding night, right before her & her recently obtained husband left for their honeymoon, her mom and a few ladies from the church let her in on the "secret". Sex was now wonderful, pleasurable, good, holy, something to be enjoyed, etc.
Imagine the confusion. "So, let me get this right, this morning sex was BAD but now sex is AMAZING????" This idea was so hard for her to understand. She felt bad and guilty and ashamed every time she had sex with her husband. This thing that God had created as wonderful to be shared between husband and wife was the very thing causing so much strife in her marriage!
Being a single woman I didn't (and still don't) fully understand the impact but I wept with her and prayed with her and just listened as she tried to dig through all the hurt & pain this misconception had caused.
I think about all the other people who have the same upbringing and same struggles today. Our society has twisted and manipulated sex so much that we have a very poor distorted view of it, regardless of our stance on it. We need to be real & honest when talking about sex. We shouldn't give our kids/teens/youth/singles a cockeyed understanding of it either.
Matt also says, "I’m not going to teach my kids about ‘safe sex’ because I don’t want to lie to them. I’d also hate to foster in them what I so often see in many other people: a pessimistic, reductionist view of human sexuality. What else could you expect to find when you spend the first 18 years of a kid’s life hammering such a paltry, pathetic message? Today, kids never hear anything positive about sex because the positive aspects have been recast as negatives."
You can read Matt's post in its entirety on his website, The Matt Walsh Blog. I highly recommend it. There is an AWESOME metaphor using trees!!! Seriously, amazing!!
You can read Matt's post in its entirety on his website, The Matt Walsh Blog. I highly recommend it. There is an AWESOME metaphor using trees!!! Seriously, amazing!!
Source: Wikimedia.org
Like this story? Here is another you might like as well: Magnificent Truth
So, what are your thoughts on this topic? Are you in the "Absolute Abstinence" camp or the " Kids Will Be Kids & We Should Teach Them Safety" camp? Are you somewhere in between? Share your thoughts below. I'd love to hear them!
So, what are your thoughts on this topic? Are you in the "Absolute Abstinence" camp or the " Kids Will Be Kids & We Should Teach Them Safety" camp? Are you somewhere in between? Share your thoughts below. I'd love to hear them!
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