For those who know me, you probably have read my blog post from last year about my birthday and my struggles as I got older especially when my birthday comes around.
If not, I'll wait while you go read it, bring some tissues.
Now that you are back with us, we can move on together. (Did you like the puppies?)
Well, today in Mexico (I guess technicallly yesterday since I didn't finish this last night, oops) we celebrated Mexican Mother's Day. Mother's Day in Mexico is always on May 10 where as in the United States, Mother's Day falls on the second Sunday of the month of May. So the date changes but the day stays the same whereas in Mexico, the date stays the same but the day changes each year.
So today we celebrated Mother's Day here in Mexico and, as May 10 this year fell on a Wednesday, it happened to be on the same day as our community meeting which we normally have each week. As a special gift to our all of our moms on campus, whether they're from Mexico or New Zealand, United States or Canada, received a red rose.
As the guys were walking around handing out and trying to find all the moms In our meeting, I pointed out one of the ladies that was sitting beside me in the floor. One of the gentleman came over and handed her a rose and then tried to hand me a rose. I looked at him and said I'm not a mom (he knows that already).
Without hesitation he said, "you have a ton of kids!" and insisted that I take the rose.
If not, I'll wait while you go read it, bring some tissues.
Now that you are back with us, we can move on together. (Did you like the puppies?)
Well, today in Mexico (I guess technicallly yesterday since I didn't finish this last night, oops) we celebrated Mexican Mother's Day. Mother's Day in Mexico is always on May 10 where as in the United States, Mother's Day falls on the second Sunday of the month of May. So the date changes but the day stays the same whereas in Mexico, the date stays the same but the day changes each year.
So today we celebrated Mother's Day here in Mexico and, as May 10 this year fell on a Wednesday, it happened to be on the same day as our community meeting which we normally have each week. As a special gift to our all of our moms on campus, whether they're from Mexico or New Zealand, United States or Canada, received a red rose.
As the guys were walking around handing out and trying to find all the moms In our meeting, I pointed out one of the ladies that was sitting beside me in the floor. One of the gentleman came over and handed her a rose and then tried to hand me a rose. I looked at him and said I'm not a mom (he knows that already).
Without hesitation he said, "you have a ton of kids!" and insisted that I take the rose.
As it would be rude I did take the rose and set it down on the floor beside me telling my friend the mom who was sitting beside me that I would just pass it on to one of the other moms later; perhaps one of the moms who walked in late or was working with our kid's church next-door. I never found anyone to pass off the rose so I ended up bringing it home with me.
As I was thinking about it later I realized that last year around this time I was feeling very vulnerable about what I had deemed my failures; in the sense of my success being found in the the thing that I have desired my entire life which is being a mom. And the fact that I had failed at that because I am not in fact a mom; I have not given birth to any children and I have not adopted any children. I am not raising any tiny human beings, I just get to play with them for a couple of hours a day, five days a week and hang out with them periodically throughout the rest of the time but they're not my ultimate responsibility. I am not responsible for their health and well-being and I don't have financial responsibilities; clothing and feeding them and taking care of them when they are sick etc. etc. etc.
I am not a mom.
However I found that it was very fitting that while last year I was struggling really hard with this, this sense of being let down; this sense of comparing myself not to other people but to my past self's future version of who I thought I would be & to who I currently actually am. {Did you follow that???}
This year, I am feeling much better and have been about the whole situation. While I still have that longing desire, I'm ok with it now. There are still days that I struggle to hear God's quiet, still voice in the midst of the screaming but they are fewer and farther between.
So, while I am not a Mother in the traditional sense, I have LOTS of kids, as many people remind me constantly, and gain more everyday, it seems.
My prayer for you this week is that if this is a longing that you have and it hasn't been fulfilled because of various circumstances or situations that the LORD would give you peace that passes all understanding; that He would wrap His arms around you as the world around you celebrates what you are not; that He would whisper sweet nothings into your ear and remind you of just how very special you truly are to Him! Give that longing over to the Creator and let Him fill that void with HIs LOVE.
I'm praying for you and with you, my friend.
As I was thinking about it later I realized that last year around this time I was feeling very vulnerable about what I had deemed my failures; in the sense of my success being found in the the thing that I have desired my entire life which is being a mom. And the fact that I had failed at that because I am not in fact a mom; I have not given birth to any children and I have not adopted any children. I am not raising any tiny human beings, I just get to play with them for a couple of hours a day, five days a week and hang out with them periodically throughout the rest of the time but they're not my ultimate responsibility. I am not responsible for their health and well-being and I don't have financial responsibilities; clothing and feeding them and taking care of them when they are sick etc. etc. etc.
I am not a mom.
However I found that it was very fitting that while last year I was struggling really hard with this, this sense of being let down; this sense of comparing myself not to other people but to my past self's future version of who I thought I would be & to who I currently actually am. {Did you follow that???}
This year, I am feeling much better and have been about the whole situation. While I still have that longing desire, I'm ok with it now. There are still days that I struggle to hear God's quiet, still voice in the midst of the screaming but they are fewer and farther between.
So, while I am not a Mother in the traditional sense, I have LOTS of kids, as many people remind me constantly, and gain more everyday, it seems.
My prayer for you this week is that if this is a longing that you have and it hasn't been fulfilled because of various circumstances or situations that the LORD would give you peace that passes all understanding; that He would wrap His arms around you as the world around you celebrates what you are not; that He would whisper sweet nothings into your ear and remind you of just how very special you truly are to Him! Give that longing over to the Creator and let Him fill that void with HIs LOVE.
I'm praying for you and with you, my friend.
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