These past few months have reminded me of my 2nd year in college. During my 2nd year of college it felt like every month someone that I knew, whether it was a family member or a person from my church, was passing away. Now most of the family members were my great aunts and uncles and by the fall I told my mom that I couldn't attend another funeral. These past few months have been the same. It seems like every week, in some cases every few days, someone that I know has passed away. From the father of our YWAM San Diego/Baja founder and president to the tiny premie born to a few of our missionaries in Ensenada to a former missionary here in Tijuana to a friend's father back home, it has been the season of grief.
As I was praying for each of these people who have been immediately and intimately impacted by these deaths, the Lord gave me a revelation. I, like so many others, was thinking why! Why did this happen? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does this family have to go through this intense grief?
Why, Why, Why???
As I was praying for each of these people who have been immediately and intimately impacted by these deaths, the Lord gave me a revelation. I, like so many others, was thinking why! Why did this happen? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why does this family have to go through this intense grief?
Why, Why, Why???
That's when God spoke so very clearly. "You're asking the wrong questions. It's not about the why but about the what."
It's not about the WHY but about the WHAT.
What can I take away from this situation?
What can I learn from this person's life?
What can I do to make sure that my friends and family know that I love them?
As I was dialoging with God in the shower, cause let's face it, that's where I do my best thinking and dialoging with Him, He went on.
"The why holds us to the past but the what propels us into the future."
This to me was so profound!! When we ask the why questions we dwell in the past, we focus on what could've been, what has been lost. Now, obviously, there is a time to grieve and that time is very important especially to those who are intimately affected by the loss. I'm certainly not down-playing the grieving process. What I believe the Lord is saying is that when you get on the other side, instead of focusing on the past, let's see how we can move forward, how we can make that person's life stand for something.
It's not about the WHY but about the WHAT.
What can I take away from this situation?
What can I learn from this person's life?
What can I do to make sure that my friends and family know that I love them?
As I was dialoging with God in the shower, cause let's face it, that's where I do my best thinking and dialoging with Him, He went on.
"The why holds us to the past but the what propels us into the future."
This to me was so profound!! When we ask the why questions we dwell in the past, we focus on what could've been, what has been lost. Now, obviously, there is a time to grieve and that time is very important especially to those who are intimately affected by the loss. I'm certainly not down-playing the grieving process. What I believe the Lord is saying is that when you get on the other side, instead of focusing on the past, let's see how we can move forward, how we can make that person's life stand for something.
Someone I see doing this so well is my good friend and former roommate, Aubrey. She and her husband went through a tragedy beyond anything that I can imagine a year and a half ago. They gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Leilah, and even though she was born with anencephaly and lived 3 1/2 days, she has sparked a movement. Aubrey, after deciding to stop her downward spiral while grieving, took the next 30 days to focus on a few goals she had set for herself in the areas of physical, emotional and spiritual. She called it "30 days of Brave: My Experiment in Productive Grief". She did the first 30 days alone but a few months later she created a Facebook event called "30 Days of Brave" and invited some friends to join her. Here is what she had to say about that first event:
I was hoping for 20 people to join then I thought ‘why not be brave and pray for 50!’ Well 208 women (and my husband) responded. For 30 days we made goals and asked ourselves everyday how could we be brave. From California to Alaska, England to Russia we shared our goals, our triumphs and encouraged one another on our personal journey’s to get out of ruts, live fully and be brave. Stories that were shared over the course of the 30 days were incredible. Stories of speaking up, volunteering, changing diets, exercising for the first time since motherhood, pursuing passions that had been previously forsaken, not being afraid to fail, deciding to not give up, not settling for status quo, opening hearts to deeper friendships, training for a half marathon, loving on patients in a hospital, forgiving deep wounds. One girl cut off her beautiful hair and donated it to charity! And my favorite, one mother of 4 being Brave and saying yes to adopting another child out the foster care system.
~ Aubrey from a post on the Prayers for Leilah Jubilee Facebook page.
This didn't stop there. She's had thousands of women from all over the world following her journey and being inspired by her life. To say that I am proud is a HUGE understatement especially because every time I talk to her she continually gives all credit & glory back to God and refuses to take any for herself. I am truly humbled by her everyday. You can follow her journey on instagram, @aubrey.rodrigues.
So, I leave you with this. As you find yourself in a time of grief, ask yourself these questions. What am I going to take away? Do I believe that God can use this experience to impact the world around me? And if so, what does that look like?
Praying for you today. Share your story by commenting below.
So, I leave you with this. As you find yourself in a time of grief, ask yourself these questions. What am I going to take away? Do I believe that God can use this experience to impact the world around me? And if so, what does that look like?
Praying for you today. Share your story by commenting below.
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Want to join us for the next quarter? Check out all of our awesome upcoming schools that you can be a part of! Head on over to our newly designed website to find out more. If you have questions, let me know!
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