I'm about to get REAL & RAW so proceed with caution! {Don't say I didn't warn you!}
For me, however, birthdays are a reminder of what I haven't accomplished and that another year has passed without that "success" having been reached. It seems to have hit a bit harder this year. I will be turning 38, so it's not a big significant birthday but for some reason, I've been a bit more emotional this past week as I've thought of this mile-stone coming up. I'm not sure if it is because I will also be celebrating 20 years since I graduated high school in a few weeks. Perhaps it's seeing all the people I graduated with (as we anticipate our reunion this summer) and realizing that many of them have gained that "success" that I talked about earlier.
Now, success means something different for each individual. For some it is wealth, for others it is tied to their work or their home or their car or perhaps their family. For me, the only thing I EVER wanted to be, the thing that is a constant desire in my life is to be a MOM. Perhaps the emotion comes because we just celebrated Mother's Day (which occasionally actually falls on my birthday) coupled with the fact that because I live here in Mexico, I got to "celebrate" it twice, once on Sunday, May 8 for the US and again on Tuesday, May 10 here in Mexico.
It seems it is all a blinding, neon, flashing, blaring reminder that I have FAILED!
I am a FAILURE!